Getting a little nervous about the work party tonight. Yesterday, he asked again about going to the party and if I responded on our behalf. He made comments that we should go. Its only right. (although I see his point, I am not sure why he is caring/insisting that I go). He asked again "so, we are going right?"... I answered, "yes, I am going".
I do have anxiety of his pressure to go together. I know its best that I go alone, and am trying not to care about his reaction... I am sure he will suggest that either DD drive us or he will ask what time will "we" be going.
I know I must go alone.
I do not want to send mixed messages that this is acceptable. We are not "friends", nor is this a "date". I am not "available" for fun when he wants me, just to be put back on the shelf again..... NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
Its really hard to say NO to the very things you want from the person you want. It gets confusing.
I must remember my value & my goal of what I WANT..... not cater to what he wants.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
