WAW having an A but she denies it #2

[Train]

I'll take a stab at that question, too, but trust me when I tell you: that is a TOUCHY subject. And I don't feel comfortable "advising" you one way or the other. I think it's a very personal decision.

MWD would advise against that exposure, as we have already discussed in your threads.

There's another camp, though, that would support such exposure ... IF it is done quickly after the A is discovered and in a LOVING way (eg. "I know W is planning a trip with you ladies soon. I just wanted to let you all know that I love W very much, and will do anything to keep my family together. But we are having some issues in our M right now, and I just recently discovered W is having an A with OM.") There are actually sample letters online for that plan's "exposure." If I remember correctly, it even recommends exposure to all your spouse's friends on sites like Facebook ... AND exposure to the OP's FB friends. But my personal opinion is that takes things way too far. THAT, to me, is when a person will look crazed like 25 was talking about the other day.

But that's just me.