Wow! I'm happy to hear that things are turning around. What i hear your wife saying she needs is a little validation. She wants you to recognize that she has needs when she says, "it would have been nice if you had said this", etc. Nothing wrong with saying, "Your'e right, that would have been a better way to handle it". She's telling you plainly what she needs to hear from you in certain situations. She's scripting it out for you - that's a gift. Don't push her to talk about the future, this is all still new and you guys are still figuring this out. Listen, listen, listen. A wise person once told me to applaud the 1% that she is right. Stop looking to set her straight or allow her expressing herself to get on your nerves. DB this! Listen, validate and come from a place of understanding or wanting to understand. Let her words permeate and allow change in your for the better. This communication is a gift that you may not realize right now but it is. It really is. I think (but I'm not a vet so get a vet to weight in before you take my advice) going our for a drink is a good idea but be ready to listen, listen, listen and validate like crazy! Use this opportunity to show her you've made some changes - GOOD changes.
Hang in there. Vent to a friend about stuff getting on your nerves... not to her!!!i
