Update...yes, I felt horrible about myself that I jumped back in so fast. So last night I confronted wife again about her lies. She denied and we got into a heated argument. I let her know how I knew the truth. I told her I used our cell phone records. Time and date and what number was called and for how long. Busted. So I asked her why she had to lie like this, when I just wanted some truth from her so i can walk away. Well, she said she didn't want to hurt me. I told her the lies hurt more. Then she went into saying that she will cut all communication with OM completely from now on. And she wanted us to address our marital problems that brought us to this Sitch. Happy to say, I had and still have the strength in me to tell her I was glad she has the courage to initiate steps in addressing our core problems, however, at this time I dont feel it. And I didnt care about our M much because of the lies and deceit. I told her I just want out of this M this point. Told her I don't trust her at all. I want to move on because the world we created is broken and I just don't have the desire to heal it. She cried and I left it at that. Next morning, she's back to her old self living each day as if she thinks I'm not serious. She thinks that I am going to soften up and take her back. In addition, I reiterated my boundaries to her again. I said to her what if OM calls her, she answered quickly, I'll just block his number.
As Im typing this she texted me to see if we were going to eat dinner together tonight like in 30 min. I ignored her text. Then I continue typing here and she just called. She asked if I got her text. I said yes. She asked if we were going to have dinner together I said it doesn't matter to me. She said hey why do you sound so mad. I said I'm not. I just don't care if we do or don't. 180 in the works. No more Mr.Pleaser. We ended the conversation with her coming home but Im not going to lift a finger in cooking for us. Detaching I am. Feels good. Will not backslide. Vets and or anyone, I need some suggestion as to how I should be. I am projecting a mellow DGAF kinda tone. Is this too harsh?
During the day, we worked together and I picked up no actions from her in wanting to work on our MR. I just left it like that and honestly I didn't care as much. Don't want to mind read but I think she's either thinking she's playing me well or she just wants a bit of calmness from our recent harsh arguments.
Vets, please chime in as you all have been there for me before with profound advice. Thank you in advance.
