Sorry for not answering your question, I try to post while I am I between appointments and occasionally I miss a post. I try not to avoid anyone on purpose.
The truth is I think my wife at some point prior to 2011 had decided she was leaving when S16 graduated high school. I think it really was 50/50 partially to escape from his severe anxiety and depression. ( thank god that's in control) the other was to leave me.
It has begun to be clear as day that she was blaming me for her unhappiness. She had an opportunity when she was in high school to be on broadway. Her father cut that off, her mom had been a singer and had a few affairs and he blamed the " show-biz" life. She wanted to go to NYU for theater..no, Syracuse for communications..no...and so on.
She ended up in something she liked but always felt there was more.
Every problem in her life became my fault...I deserved some of it there was stuff I did I am ashamed of ( not infidelity).
She befriended our so called Tour Guide and I noticed he targeted her. He and his long time live in stayed with us for a week and he would knock my kids out of the way to get her attention.
She ate it up.
Then S18 had a girlfriend of a different religion, my wife and I did not agree how to handle it, believe me my approach was right. This OM attacked me sided with the wife and the fun began.
Anyhow, after she ran away she missed my S16 and S21, she wanted to move back home for an in home separation. Which we did. We eventually cancelled the divorce but she just can't let go of OM.
I had an interesting meeting with the MC tonight.
I believe that the changes my wife has seen are a combination of the forums and of my MC. A lot of what my MC tells me about behaviors and actions line up exactly with DB and this site.
She also told me to Stop renting space in my head to the OM .....where have we heard that before....DB maybe?
Anyway, now the only thing my WW is afraid of is that the second she dumps OM the old me returns...
I guess it will take time for her to realize the old me is dead...
Thanks for your post, Ox. I know this story because you've told it dozens of times, but it's all about your history. I asked what you thought her intentions are TODAY. But it doesn't matter because Db is you should not be focusing on her just on you.
