I believe that I gave my W a glimpse into the new Shodan and that I am the better choice with the previous 6-7 week but I still struggle with that. Did I do enough for long enough?
It's 6-7 weeks longer than I did it.
When my wife made the decision to fall into her affair, our marriage was at its WORST, and *I* was at my worst! (just go back and read the posts earlier than May 2007) Although I'd always been a good husband, I had slowly began -- intentionally -- NOT meeting my wife's needs, because I was tired of her not meeting mine. I was distant, and surly, and moody and not even as good of a father as I was capable of. I'll always have to live with the knowledge of knowing that I had contributed to the dysfunctional marital environment enough that my wife (who's a VERY traditional girl) would even CONSIDER adultery . . . much less commit it.
So I had to basically "design/build" my "Plan A"/"Plan B," on the fly, but with the help of some great folks here. I had to simultaneously (and quickly!) try to show her my changes, while coming down hard legally and financially and try to bust her affair.
You had WAY more of a head start than I did, Shodan.
