Again, you'll get varying opinions about this for sure, and we can psycho-babble all day long about what came first - the chicken or the egg - when we talk about how *incredibly* disrespectful your H has been toward you. But the simple fact is: Wow. He's been incredibly disrespectful toward you. And you deserve MUCH better than that.
To ask a wife and the mother of your children: "What happened to your boobs?" And to follow that up with: "You need to do something about that"??!?
Um, no. Just no.
MLC, FOO issues, PTSD, other . . . I don't care: "Crap behavior is crap behavior."