WAW having an A but she denies it #2

[shodan]

I have been doing a lot of thinking today and trying to put myself in her shoes. Specifically, let's assume that I was having the affair. I am picturing this picture perfect of a woman who loves me unconditionally, makes me feel like I am the only man on earth. I think or know that I love her. And when my W asks if I am having an A, I would deny it. I would almost be offended (how dare you). But if she started not really caring about me, did things without me and did not tell me where she was going, I would be somewhat perplexed. If she started to dress nice and look good, I would be more perpelxed. If I tried to push her buttons by taking the kids somewhere without her, and she said "have fun, I have stuff to do", I would be very perplexed. Shouldn't she be pining away for me? Shouldn't see beg me to come back? And when I was out with the OW and she didn't ask me where I was, I would be confused. By seeing these "good" qualifies in my wife, who is now not showing interest in me, I wonder if it would make the OW look less attractive?

If instead, she pursued me, or worked on the areas where I had issues (e.g., in the case of men, and to quote from his needs/her needs, sexually fulfillment and relationship companionship), I would find that to be desperate. So the same goes for me...I cannot provide to her the two basic needs of woman (affection and conversation) b/c that would seem desperate. But I can do the other three...honesty/openness, financial commitment and family commitment.

And by GAL and focusing on me, I actually will make her want to be with me (at least that is the plan). If she really loves the OM and wants to break up our M and hurt our kids over it, than I really cannot stop her.