It's been a few months. Time for an update/thoughts/musings post. Things still very interesting around here.
Mini recap:
- Bomb in January 2012. Did not see THAT coming!
- Lots of MLC craziness. I join here July 2012, start to find my footing, get myself together.
- hit the year mark and have a big, several hour long R talk. H does share some insightful things with me. Refuses to admit affair or all the money he is spending.
- more MLC craziness
- summer of 2013 I notice that H is beginning to take some interest in our home, increased interest in our children. Notice him checking me out occasionally. At the beginning of August, I overhear part of an argument while on phone with ow. After that, he begins to move closer to me. Starts sleeping in bed, complimenting me.
- fall comes, and the switch goes off again. Back to sleeping on couch
- by November, I'm at the end of my rope. Initiate a talk telling him I'm tired of living a lie, tired of a third person in our m. I don't want to live like this anymore. This led to a several hour long talk. He tells me he didn't mean all the terrible things he said to me, he was just very angry and took it out on me. Says that he does want to be married to me, does think of me as his wife, knows he needs to do a better job at being a H to me. Still refuses to admit affair. He's stopped spending money like crazy at this point.
- holidays come and go, I see small effort from H but still a lot of MLC behavior. He eventually does start sleeping in bed again. But by February, it seemed like he was stuck and things were at a standstill. I was beyond frustrated and disgusted, pulled WAY back.
- starts working his second job again, seems very happy about it
- mid February he's in a bad car accident, totaling his car. He was very upset, seemed very contemplative about things afterwards. There were also a few deaths of people he knew; this also seemed to have him reflecting on things.
- beginning of march, H asks me to rub his back while in bed ( still very sore from accident) and one thing led to another...
- he was supposed to go on a "fishing trip" (I believe a getaway with ow) but decides not to go because I was sick. Says he wants to stay home and take care of boys. Reschedules trip for April, but doesn't go.
- throughout spring and summer, H is home more and texting less. Consistently sleeping in bed and being intimate. Beginning to be affectionate. Our daily interactions are playful and happy, we are spending more time together. He initiates a lot of home improvement projects - tells me - I know this needed done last year, but I just didn't feel up for it.
Which brings us to now
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
