P.S. As a kid, I received the line, "your dad loves you" over and over when my dad was having what was obviously some sort of nervous breakdown/depression and was having an affair and my world was ROCKED. I was so sick of hearing that line.
Sorta like, "Yes, dad is having an affair and a raving lunatic, but he loves you."
Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. Often, they know what's wrong before we do. I remember wondering if my dad was having affairs long before my mom did. It was condescending to have every therapist and family member remind me of how much he loved me when we were about lose everything because of HIS decisions.
I think asking questions leads to more meaningful conversations..."DO YOU know YOUR DAD LOVES YOU?" And, if not, what about his behavior is making you feel like he doesn't? Then, don't use your spouse as a specific example...but, open up the conversation about the difference between feeling love for someone and behavior.
In my case, I used my experience as a kid. "Guys, when my dad went through a hard time, he was very distant and seemed not to care if I lived or died. He did though...he just couldn't express it then. You know how hard it is to be there for someone else when you feel sick or sad or really angry, right? When you are telling me you "hate me" or whatever...you don't really mean it...you are just having a bad time. That's what going on with dad right now, in my opinion. The love doesn't change, but he may have a hard time showing it right now."
Last edited by LoisB; 07/25/1404:27 PM.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
