H's MLC #3

[woundedfool]

100% agree, except I would not actually say the part of telling him he is going through some challenges.

I disagree. I think it's important in this world for our kids to trust their instincts. Their instincts are shouting at them...just like they are to us..."THIS IS CRAZEEEEE!!!"

I think it's crazy-MAKING to deny that validation. You don't have to belabor it or go into deep details but there's nothing worse than being surrounded by crazeee and having the people around you pretend it's all ok.

I didn't suggest denying it.... I just have trouble working out this scenario as it was presented:

Mom has convo with kid:

S14: "Mom I can't talk to his dad and he works too much."
Mom: "Son, yea... he is going through some changes now, and is sick"

S14 (to dad): "mom says your sick, and are going through changes"
Dad: "WHAT???".... 2BHappy... what did you say to S14!?"

I don't see a clear path to address this, I am not suggesting denying anything, but the changes/sick line can become a hornets nest.

*If* it was me, I would have the conversation like this:

S14: "Mom I can't talk to his dad and he works too much."
WF: "Yes, he does work quite a bit. But he loves you very much (actually S14 we both do), and works hard to provide us with everything we have. When you feel you can't talk to him, what do you mean? Do you feel like your ignored? or he isn't listening?
S14: Well when he was on the roof fixing the chimney, I wanted to ask him to take me to the mall, and he snapped at me"
Wf: "oh"



Granted, I am really playing up my role play for effect.... but it would be good to have more context. That way it doesn't feel you seize an opportunity to build a bridge instead of what could be perceived as "selling" H down the river.