I'm sorry, dawgy - this is a tough time, and the emotions are hard to control.
If you can, it might be worth trying to let it all out when your kids aren't around. Cry, scream into a pillow, punch a mattress - whatever it takes to vent things for awhile.
Then, once you've gotten that a bit more out of your system, focus on the next steps. MLP's given some excellent advice, so take some time to focus on you and making yourself the best person that you can be.
Yep -- I did that! Usually around 2am, alone in the bathroom with the exhaust fan on, and a pillow to bury my face in. No shame in that at all -- you do what you have to do in order to be there for your kids during the day!
