And an alternative, if he digs in his heels, is to peruse Craigslist for a decent car that would not require a loan. My H and I generally sold them there because it was simpler than trying to do a trade-in, and they were always good reliable cars that we sold because of changing life circumstances (like having a baby, or deciding we didn't need a pick-up anymore) rather than because the car was in poor shape. If you do careful due diligence there's no reason you have to buy a car from a dealer, or spend even as much as $10K, although it takes more time.
One other option, though you may not want this one, is to consult a lawyer now about establishing a legal separation that would divide your finances at this time so that you are free to make financial decisions without his input. Or possibly some kind of post-nup or something.
If you need a car it's not ok to let that need be held hostage by him.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
