KGirl - post-move

[KGirl]

Well, I got an email from H today about the car loan. I'm angry and upset, need to take some time to respond, don't even know HOW to respond.

He says he's been thinking more about it and understands I need and want a car but doesn't think now is the best time given if we move forward with D, the loan would be half his responsibility legally. He says he knows I'll say he wouldn't be responsible for it, but he's not sure that me saying that is "enough" and he's concerned about it. Then he goes on to say that for example, he could wrack up a lot of credit card debt without my knowledge and then I'd technically be responsible for it (so I guess comparing this to one of us being irreponsible with credit?). And then says feel free to email or call him to discuss further. He's also concerned that if he needs to sign the loan as well (which from what I can tell there's no reason he'd need to) he won't do it and would have to consult with a lawyer, and doesn't want me to go all the way through the process to find out I can't do it.

What do I even do with this?? I mean, wait indefinitely until he decides to D me? That doesn't seem right or fair. So far I've thought about saying we could sign something saying that I'll be solely responsible for it, if that would ease his concerns. I could also say that when I do negotiate a car price, I could ask right away about the financing and whether it needs his signature or if just mine will be fine. He's absolutely right that the debt will be part his... but on the other hand, we ARE still M, and we could remain M for who knows how long, or R, or who knows what. The part that really gets me PO'd is I wouldn't even need to be doing this if we were still together because we'd be sharing his car. I could also ask for suggestions so he feels more included in the process (even though, really, I don't need his permission to do any of this).