I think, Pilot, (and I see some similarities with some other recent male posters) is that sometimes it seems like you have a need to prove yourself to the people in this forum. Like, making sure that we totally understand something you wrote, or intended, or justifying certain actions or thoughts you've had.
And we could also say that if you validated his feelings (and other male posters) and responses that he would feel understood and be less defensive. Would you tell a woman who is having trouble talking to her WS to talk to him the same way you just communicated with Pilot? Or would you encourage her to learn to validate what her husband thinks and feels before replying with her thoughts? I don't see any issue with him wanting to make sure he is understood or what his intentions are. It's called communication.
I actually believe he is handling talking to the women here quite admirably.I can see why he may feel a bit defensive, and my take is that he is trying his very best to share his thoughts and feelings the same as you. No? I think it would have been very kind and helpful for him to hear a few times something like " Yes, I can understand how you could feel that way" before responding with your views... Or doesn't his thoughts and feelings deserve validation?
