Hard to know, but I am not sure I agree with AJ. In my case, I do not think my xh has a clue how cliched his behaviour is.

Conversations reported to me by my children (intemittently - this isn't a big thing) indicate there isn't a shred of insight into his behaviour.

But like I say, my situation may not be typical, and it could be he is fully self aware but just can't stop.