Every WAS fears that the marriage they left, in which they were very Unhappy, will return if they return.
IOW, your w fears that you will revert to your old self as soon as she gives OM up. consistent change + sufficient time = change she can believe in.
You have to give it time, & you have to be consistent, and you've done neither.
your comment is why I have repeatedly commented that the MC is on the same page as MWD. She tells me that I am 100% a different man then she met a year ago. However, all these changes have taken place mostly in the last couple of weeks. Now she says I need to continue changing shut my mouth and remain consistent . She also had told me that I need to be patient and give it time.
So look at the title of your thread and get back to YOU.
What are your 180s? What are your GAL?
my 180's include ; -staying Calm - not asking 100 judgmental questions -NOT PURSUING, ALLOWING HER SPACE ALLOWING HER TO COME TO ME
The rest are habits - keeping my home office neat and clean - helping more with cleaning the house - not allowing S16 to be disrespectful - staying clam on the outside even if I am a wreck on the inside
i fail somewhat in the GAL category because of work, and having to spend more time with S16 and helping him learn to drive etc. But I do go every morning M-F to the gym with my friends versus going with WW I am going to go on the weekends without her at least while OM is around. Going to spend more time on the weekend out of the house fishing hiking etc I have told my friends to let me know when they are going to concerts etc..because I want to go with them. Not rushing home because she's here. Doing more business travel then I have done in the past. Still trying to work on the GAL.
PLUS THE MC thinks I need to be home every night until OM leaves the country.
You cannot detach without GAL, and we hammer the GAL for one reason only....
it works.
This is where I get stuck. I thought that being around without " hanging around" keeps me in the " minds eye" .
