Follow Sandi's rules to a T. Actual what worked better for me, was copying Sandi's rules, pasting them into a Word doc and editing them to put the in the first person. e.g. if it said: Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel, I changed it to: ... how bad I feel. Then printed them out and read them over and over.
M: 59 W: 53 M: 9 yrs T: 14 yrs No kids together but D30(hers), S27, S24, D21(all 3 mine) W moved out 11/18/2013 D-Day 12/14/2013 W moved back home 12/1/2014