My confusing story

[Atsbaby]

Today was better for me. I struggled to focus on other things, especially a test that I have due at midnight! Just can't read my boring text book while I'm trying to read other things to fix me and save my marriage.

A friend called me today to check up...I was bad and had been complaining to her, this time I totally stuck to what I was doing and left out all the negatives of H. When we work it out (PMA), I don't want her to have negative feelings about him, plus she's my kids godmother!

The local children's hospital is putting on a health camp, so I signed the kids and I up to go. Unfortunately s football practice got moved to the same times. I had to drop s off at H work. On the way over, I tried to make myself happy and we sang and played games in the car. I was in such a good mood, I'm sure it threw off H!

As my d and I left for the hospital, it was like God was talking to me through the music...I heard Bruno marz never give up and maroon 5's new song map (which is about someone walking away and the lbs following a map that leads back to them...feels like what I'm doing).

When d and I were done, I had to go to another football practice to take team pics for the coach (they practice where s does). I jumped out of my comfort zone and talked to parents of some of the players we had last year...I'm usually the shy quiet parent. Hopefully H saw this.

Once again H came home after practice, I began working on my test and H sat down on the other couch. H began talking to me about work and then about his gagging his ears (yes, I know), but he did surprisingly make a comment that he didn't want to go too big in case he wanted to seal the holes later! I listened intently and validated him. I attempted three times to take the dog on a walk, leaving the conversation first...finally succeeded on third try.

I think I'll count this night as a baby step, especially compared to last night. One day at a time!