"Speak Softly": The Amoeba Whisperer!

[AJM]

GGG, be careful not to spin too much. It's not good for your well-being, ya know?

But I'm glad to see you're revisiting. And getting more out of it this time.

You were together for 29 years. He's capable of being the man you want/need. The question is if he'll come through this and if so, what he will be capable of being when he does. As you may have surmised, he won't be that "final product" right away. You'll have to tease that out of him as time goes on, if given the chance.

That's really the point. This is on him. It's about him. I know you felt crazy at the time. But that was yesterday. Today you know a lot more about what's going on than you did. Since you do, you also know it's not about you and that you can only be encouraging from a distance. To be closer would be detrimental to you both.

I don't know how people can behave this way; how they can't see themselves for the cliches they are.

What makes you think he doesn't know? That the "need" to go through this isn't stronger and able to override his ability to be a decent person?

I've been where you are, GGG. It's confusing. It's difficult. It's painful. It's liberating. It's all of the above at once or in a few seconds.

Once you know what's going on, and I think you have a good handle on it, you'll need to accept the here and now. The what is, vs. what was, or should be, or what may be.

Once you've accepted it, the question will be what you choose to do about it.

The pages that are verbatim? Yep, I think I could have written half of it about my ex and her H. Now that I know, I choose my actions and reactions. That has brought me great peace. I think it will for you as well.

AJ