You know what I'm realizing? I have a butt load of these sort of thoughts in my head that keep me from detaching and backing
away from H. Such as:

'I know he is going to regret it if he pursues D. I have to make sure he knows he is making a mistake. Essentially --- I have to SAVE him.'

'If I let him go too far or too long, he won't come back'

'I have to keep reminding him of me/us'

'I have to keep reminding him of our family'

I'm sure there's more...I'll post as I think of them. All so counterproductive!

M: 42
H: 43
M: 8 years
S7 and D4
H has D19 and S25 from previous M
Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA
1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail
2nd separation: 5/1/14