Wife wants marriage with OM, is there any hope?

[MrBond]

"I started reading the DR book and I'm looking to supplement the book and the DB coaching with good feedback from you folks."

I don't think so. The basic tenant of DB is changing yourself first. It doesn't seem like you're willing to do that. The one glaring thing it seems like you need to change is your attitude of sweeping things under the rug because you don't want to deal with it. Your W is the one hurting. Not you.

"I'm sorry if I come off as defensive, but that's sort of in my nature."

This is also something that's very obvious. And it's how you treat your W. Do you think that really makes her attracted to you?

"I'll try to be more conscious of it going forward. I really do appreciate everyone's responses, whether or not I agree with them."

That's another issue. You don't seem to want to have an open enough mind to try and understand what others are telling you. It seems like once you hear something you don't like or don't want to confront because it makes you uncomfortable (due to fear), you get angry. That's your defense mechanism to protect yourself.

But let's face it. Your W is the one hurting. Not you. So why do you only care about yourself? You really don't see that this is the same as when you were having your A's do you? You only want to do what you want to do irregardless of how it hurts others.

Man up and take responsibility for what you did. This also includes understanding why your W is looking for another man who treats her better than you do.