Wife wants marriage with OM, is there any hope?

[mindsin]

but that ^^^^^ is exactly what you are doing to your wife.

You confuse self respect with your wounded ego. You justify punitive vindictive shaming behavior. And expect her to want to be with you?

Expecting that is the definition of insanity b/c you know shaming did not help you, but you think it will change her in a way that helps the situation??

Any 12 step program will tell you things like "Shame is NOT your friend" and when you shame a spouse, which is NEVER your role, you push them farther and farther away.

You have lost sight of your goal b/c you are putting your anger and need to be right, over any desire to be happy.

No spouse has ever returned and stayed, b/c of shame.

Your approach is fundamentally flawed and you have a huge double standard.
The sooner you see that, the better your chance for an actual reconciliation that might last.

You resist seeing this^^, at your peril.

Shaming behavior? I'm obviously not seeing it. Can you point out specifics based on my past posts?

I know that shaming did not help me? Please explain this.

I don't think I've lost sight of my goal. My goal is to get my wife back and keep my family intact. I am indeed angry, and you are spot-on about my personality -- I do have an innate desire to be right. I recognize this and in this particular situation, I honestly don't know what's right.