I guess I had hoped he would reach out one day this week and speak to me about things with OW in the office or his supposed IC appointment or *something* to signal that he's still interested in trying to work it out.
I think he is giving you a definite signal. Do you think that maybe you aren't getting what his silence is saying? Are you hoping I say to you "don't mind read?"
I have been where your husband is. I felt suffocated beyond belief and yet hoped she would get the message and leave me alone. I felt like if I was too nice even though I didn't want to get back into a relationship, that she would take that and make something out of it. My guard was up even when she kept the conversation light and easy. I'm sure she thought that I didn't think she was pressuring me with light breezy calls.. She was WRONG.. That is exactly what I was thinking..
Remember, these are only the feelings he would have when he feels suffocated. Once he gets some air and can breathe again, the suffocated feelings go away.
Now, he wouldn't want to be suffocated again, so he will shy away from any possible reminder that it could or may be happening again.
You HAVE to take the pressure off. Take the pillow off his face.
How? How do you think you can take that pressure he feels off?
He isn't going to come right out and tell you that he feels suffocated UNLESS you force his hand. He is secretly hoping you "get the message." because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. You seem on the verge of forcing his hand. I can tell you the answer if you do that.
What he is not aware of is that once the pressure of feeling suffocated is gone, that his feelings may very well start to change. The problem here is that he or we won't know if they are going to change until the pressure is completely off.
I have noticed that you have either stopped to see him or called him every day this week. I realize you think that not saying anything and just talking about the kids or whatever is not putting pressure on him, but your posts of when you talk or text or have contact with him leads me to believe that he is just cringing that you are one moment from starting up again. I have even wondered if you are finding some excuse to contact him every day and think that you are disguising it as "something with the kids"..
So, if I wonder that and I don't even know you, don't you think he also senses the very same thing? It is still pressure to HIM even if you think it isn't.
