The things I've done were done years ago. A lot has changed since then. The things I've done had everything to do with the addictive lifestyle I led, and nothing to do with my wife or my love for her. I've come to terms with that back in 2011.
It is absolutely sweeping it under the rug, and there is nothing wrong with that. Why would I continually bring myself back to a time when I was selfish and destructive? I want to leave that life behind. I want to be able to forgive myself for what I did. That can never happen if I keep beating myself down over and over again. That can never happen if I can never let go of the guilt. T but that ^^^^^ is exactly what you are doing to your wife.
You confuse self respect with your wounded ego. You justify punitive vindictive shaming behavior. And expect her to want to be with you?
Expecting that is the definition of insanity b/c you know shaming did not help you, but you think it will change her in a way that helps the situation??
Any 12 step program will tell you things like "Shame is NOT your friend" and when you shame a spouse, which is NEVER your role, you push them farther and farther away.
You have lost sight of your goal b/c you are putting your anger and need to be right, over any desire to be happy.
No spouse has ever returned and stayed, b/c of shame.
Your approach is fundamentally flawed and you have a huge double standard. The sooner you see that, the better your chance for an actual reconciliation that might last.
You resist seeing this^^, at your peril.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
