T2... I did drop the rope & have declined all offers from him. I would say this is throwing the rope back at him.
Matt... I agree with the resentment comment too... he has resented me for being too good.... GEEZ!!!
I have been listening. I have been showing my actions, as well. I know its holding me back, hearing that he "may" want me once "xyz" is done. However, I have not let it stop me from moving forward. I also KNOW that he would not say this, if he didn't mean it. He does not need to soften the blow to me at this point any more. In fact, he has NEVER protected me from painful truths... if he was moving on he would be blunt and state things that hurt me... He has not. He is trying to keep me "there" where he left me, while he is "unsure". In MLC, they are confused. ... and I believe with all my soul... he is confused & consumed by purchasing the business location these days.... the closing ends on the 31st.
Knowing this ^^^ it has now forced me to not be "there". On June 13, I presented an offer to him of reconciliation. Basically I said "you can come back now, if you're ready"... He clearly stated "I am not ready, yet"... Since then, I have pulled myself & pushed away from EVERY opportunity. This is me closing all doors. The only opening, is in a box on the shelf... I can't help that the box keeps falling on the floor.
I do see that what I was doing before... being convenient, etc would come across as pressure. I am removing any and all pressure from this. I understand that any and all R talk is pressure... I just don't get why he "talks" ... is it JUST for temp check? (to ensure I am there... but, won't follow thru??). <<< This is why I now understand that there can be NO MORE R talks.... its pointless. So, is "seeing" him outside of work for social time. I am not "available" on his requests... just to be put back on the shelf for another time. I deserve & want better!
I am working on being the best MM I can be... and I am starting to like her... she loves deeply & DOES have a standard.
Last edited by makingmagic; 07/24/1406:35 PM.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
