A way to reply without sounding defensive is to say something like, "Oh, I hadn't thought about it that way. But I'm going to think about what you said because there may be some truth to it."
(btw, when someone's words 'sting', that usually means there is truth to it. I heard that on this forum).
One thing you might try is to re-read your posts before you submit them and just simply TAKE OUT anything that sounds like you are defending yourself or making excuses.
For ex: "It is just how I process information" --> that is an excuse or defense.
What if you experimented with simply taking out any of those kinds of phrases, and seeing how that sounds to you? Then do some thinking about what bothers you about that, if anything? That might be an interesting experiment.
