I wonder if the real reason you are focused so much on your W and her OM/A is that turning inward and thinking about what YOU need to do to work on YOU (to become the best YOU that you can be) feels too difficult and scary right now.
I hear that. I was in that place for a long, long time. But I assure you, you will not find peace (within yourself, your marriage, anything) until you LOOK INWARD.
Can you set a teeny tiny goal of going ONE day without focusing on your W and her A? What about half a day? What will you do during that time? What can you reward yourself with if you reach that goal?
Is your IC helping you with any of this!?!? If not, you need to find a new one, stat. You've been at this for months and are still mostly stuck. How can you find the inner strength (and outside support) to help you get UNSTUCK?
I realise that the post I just made about my history, when/if it shows up goes against what Claire and everyone is telling Ox to do. My post is all about his wife's intentions when Ox should be focusing on himself as you all say.
I'm sorry I did not stick to DB. I just though a bit of my history might be useful. I don't have a newcomers thread since my marriage is over and I am happy with that and not looking for help but I thought it might give context. Sorry again.
