Dealing with WAW Part 3

[pilot]

Pilot, I used to hate it when people would give me criticism, helpful or not. My sense of self was so fragile, I couldn't hear it, so I instinctively went into attack or defend mode. I had to prove I was right. There were no chinks in my armor.

What I lost in the process was valuable insights into how I was, how others saw me. Things I could work on and change, possible make my life better.

I can almost hear the wheels in your head turning when someone gives you advice that's counter to your version of you. You're not even taking it in cause you're preparing the answer in your head to show how wrong the poster is.

Again, drop the defensiveness. Cultivate listening with an open mind. Just because you may have flaws, doesn't make you a flawed individual.

Until you can listen and really hear (or read and really understand), you're just pi$$in' in the wind.

Hmm...How can I reply without being defensive? The catch 22 as any reply could be interpreted that way.

I do see what you are saying. And I am sorry if I come across as defensive. It is just how I process information. You (generically speaking, not you in particular) can tell me WHAT to do. I on the other hand, want to know WHY. You may have the correct answer and path towards a goal. It is just me to want to understand the why. Why does this work. Why 'this' direction and not 'that' direction. If feel if I have a better and stronger understanding of the WHAT to do, when I take that path I will be more informed should any contingencies arise. I guess it is a carry over from business.

I kind of think of this forum, and getting advice from the vets as reading the last chapter of a book to find out what happens. I just then want to go read the the rest of the chapters to find out how it happened.

Make sense? Trust me, I am soaking everything that is said in with a sponge. Just because I challenge something, or engage in a healthy back and forth, does not mean I am not taking what was said to heart, and even applying it to my daily life.

Thanks again for devoting your time and thoughts to my situation, and your efforts to help me improve myself.