Dealing with WAW Part 3

[pilot]

Pilot, as the wife of a very successful man, I'm just going to say that I would much rather he had been somewhat less successful and a lot more present in our marriage and family. All your arguments about your wife getting the benefit of your hard work overlook the fact that your ambition was being served at the expense of her sense of being cared for. I've read several time about how your LL was missing but where is your mention of hers?

I'm not saying this to be harsh, but when you excuse your hard work by saying you did it for her, you're kind of ignoring what she may have more truly valued in you.

I know this is tricky because there's a lot of male pride involved and men *need* to feel they are successful at providing for their families and when you get to a certain level of achievement it's kind of not ok to just stop there if you can go higher. But if you're going to do the work of being here you'd might as well hear that many wives would prefer you did just that. Sometimes providing for your family's future can become an end in itself and you lose track of why the family matters.

Thanks for the reply. I had mentioned on several occasions how I recognized her LL was missing. And I acknowledged it as a shortcoming on my end. I get what you are saying. We just had goals for our family, and I saw my job as finding a way for us to meet those goals. Ironically, it was when we moved, and I spent MORE time at home that the camel's back began to break. Her complaint was if the financial situation was getting worse, what was I doing at home. Of course, much of what I did could be done remotely, with the occasional travel for meetings.

I will reflect on what you have written as I do see your points.

Thanks again!