2011 is "Years" ago?? Sorry, not really. And maybe you've "come to terms" with it, but what about your W? You seem to quite easily excuse your behavior (it was an "addictive lifestyle"), without really addressing the hurt you inflicted on your W and family.
Three years ago, to be exact. My wife said she blamed herself for a long time. But we both understand that it had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with me.
When did I excuse my behavior? I am simply stating a fact. It was going through a time in my life where I was addicted to it. It's not an excuse. It's a reason. There is a difference.
I have addressed the hurt I caused. I felt it first-hand with the situation I'm going through now, and then some. At the same time, it doesn't excuse her affair either.
Originally Posted By: claire7
Yes, there is something wrong with sweeping YOUR mistakes under the rug if you are now vilifying your W for doing what you had done to her, repeatedly, for years.
She asked you what you love/miss about her-- and your answers were pretty much physical. That would be a huge turn off for me, personally. I would want to know what my H loved about me AS A PERSON, not as a physical object.
What is the OM giving her that you have not? How are you working on YOU?
I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree then. You seem to believe in a philosophy that two wrongs make a right. I don't believe in such.
No, I don't believe that two wrongs make a right.
But I'm not sure how being so angry at your W for having an A (which is something you've done to her as well) will help save your M.
There are vets with far more expertise than me spending valuable time on your thread. I will defer to them. Good luck to you.
