So you confronted your W about communicating with OM and she lied about it again? I know you haven't told her how you know, but don't you think she's catching on that it's the phone records?
Back in my pre-DB days I found phone records and confronted my W with them. This was the first discovery of them and I didn't set out good boundaries in place (basically I messed it up). After that my W went to a burner phone to communicate with OM. Not saying it's going to happen with you.... but if you didn't find anything in the phone records and she's being nice to you are just going to assume it's over with OM?
