I haven't posted in about two months I have been attempting to apply all of the suggested techniques offered by members as well as things read in the books. I must say it is not easy to deal with emotionally especially when children are involved. I love my children dearly and will do anything for them, like most parents on this Forum. Unfortunately, this has caused me to continuously have conversations about salvaging our relationship with my wife, who has left our house with my children and now lives 127 miles away. She has made it clear that she does not want to come back nor wants to save our marriage due to the fact that she's done!!! In the past months I have changed completely. For those who are not familiar with my situation I had some anger issues in the past in my relationship, which almost became physical causing me to seek help, but also causing my wife to leave and give up on our relationship. It has been a tough couple of months because I am doing everything within my power to try and regain my wife's trust as well as her love back. I am seeking counseling on my own, which is working great. I am trying to be the best father for my children which is difficult them being so far away. I was used to seeing them everyday and it's breaking my heart that I can only talk to them on the phone and see them on the weekends. The financial burdens of trying to maintain my home on my income is stressful having to work overtime in order to stay afloat. Again it's not easy, but things I'm sacrificing hoping that time will heal and my family can be together again. Every day that goes by I have less hope of their return, my wife is detaching herself from me and becoming distant. I still feel that she loves me, but she has a wall up that's inpenetrable and shutting me out. I have written her several letters apologizing for my past mistakes and actions looking for closure and forgiveness. I am a smart man that has to accept that it's over, but in my heart I still have hope!!! Am I wrong for this? I have taken the suggestions of getting a life by hanging with friends enjoying my hobbies doing things by myself with my children, which has been rewarding. But then, I think about her and constantly thinking about doing these things as a family like we used to do. I want to start casually dating women, but at the same time I feel guilty because I still want to be with my wife. I have only been separated for 4 months, but I enjoy and miss the companionship of a woman. I'm afraid that it's too soon because I don't want to give up on my relationship but at the same time reality is that she's probably never coming back!!! I feel that I owe it to my family to give it time especially with all of the positive changes that I have made in the past months. It's confusing because my wife says that she has noticed the changes but doesn't believe it will last. She also says that it will make me a better person for the next women that I have a relationship with, but I don't want to be with anyone else but her. This is where the confusion is, I guess I'm afraid to move on because I still have hope to salvage my relationship and willing to sacrifice anything for it to have my family whole again.