NewB - Hang in there. Moderation will pass....Patience is so hard for those of us going through this!
The only bit of advice that I have for you is to really be patient. This is a marathon, not a sprint, and getting to the end takes way, way longer than you want it to. If you had told me 8 months ago that I'd still be in this boat, I would have been horrified. Well...it's horrifying all right, but somehow my coping skills are getting better and I'm learning how to take care of myself.
That's the shift you really want to see...when you realize that you've started working on YOU and you're no longer focusing on seeing changes in your WAW.
Divorce Remedy changed my life. I'm serious. That book made SO MUCH SENSE to me and my situation. And since being able to read the whole thing and figure out how to use the techniques, my attitude towards me is changing. I'm taking care of me. H and I are no longer having the same conversations over and over again. (You know the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.) And, I'm finally accepting that in MLC, there's nothing I can do to change his journey. Not. One. Thing. So I'm standing and watching. I have some boundaries that work for me. And if he changes, then I can re-evaluate my boundaries.
Hang in there...both on this board (which is awesome) and in your journey. And read the books! They really are game changers. Just keep in mind that the game is really, really long! LOL
