No shame in crying. I cry too. Not as much as I used to. Yes, crying does help. It's sad. That's the reality of it.
The DBing thing is for your own sanity as much as it is for changing your relationship. It's only been a month since I've been following your thread - it was a month ago that you feared she would move out. You started the DBing. She's still at home with you. (I wish my W was home with me.) So you did something right.
Had you pursued, begged, pleaded, etc she would have been gone by now. She's still at home. Consider that a major step in the right direction. Stay the course. This will take some time.
M: 59 W: 53 M: 9 yrs T: 14 yrs No kids together but D30(hers), S27, S24, D21(all 3 mine) W moved out 11/18/2013 D-Day 12/14/2013 W moved back home 12/1/2014