Bitter party of 1

[Zues126]

I'm at work, hopefully will have time to post more later. But you're doing a great job, not to say you can't go further, but it's an impressive start.
I'd encourage you to look up my thread for the flip side. You might be right about never being able to meet his expectations. My thread talks about why that is. Bottom line, if he doesn't feel good enough on his own you can't fill the he for him.
HOWEVER, that doesn't mean what you do doesn't matter. Even if he's delusional in a world of fantasy, impossible expectations, and crippled self worth...he isn't a fool. If you become the woman only a fool would leave, detach, heal the void in your own self (the one that triggered your hurt which in turn blocked your willingness to be more attentive to your H), and allow him to see those changes...he may not fall into your arms. But he might realize as you drift away that he's trading a very attractive reality which, while imperfect, trumps the heck out of a very soulless fantasy.
So have faith. He may never work on himself. But become the woman you want and you'll give him a good reason to grow up. And if, as may unfortunately be the case, he doesn't...you'll be stronger, have a better relationship with yourself, and ready to move into a brighter future. But regardless of what you see you don't have to give up hope. Again, read my thread. See how I behaved, and how I'm going to the ends of the earth to transform myself now. Didn't happen until my STBX started moving on...
Make each day a small win and have faith in yourself!