Finding my way - part 2

[Meghan]

MLP - no, I don't think the MC has to ask, but I'm pretty positive that he will. That was the central theme of our last session. He left us with, "well, I guess we'll see what H. says when he gets back" because most of what we talked about that time was hope for the relationship (H. has said he's at a 4 or 5 out of 10 and that he's one foot in and one foot out) and whether he could get past his resentment enough to work on this.

It's not that he absolutely has to come to a decision by next week, but H. sees this trip as a way to get some space, find himself, and sort out his head. There's an element of seeing if there's any chink in his resentment, too. He's also said he views this trip as a test of whether he misses me as a wife or just as someone he sees a lot, and that seemed to be a pretty big factor in his mind.

I suppose it's possible that he might not have come to a decision. But I'm afraid that the counselor asking him outright will push him into an answer even if he doesn't have one, and that the answer will be, "I don't know what else to do, so I'm out because I feel hurt and angry and resentful" (yep, that right there is assuming and reading his mind IN THE FUTURE, *sigh*). He doesn't seem to see any possibility that his feelings might change or that things could actually get better.

On top of that, I've been feeling like the counselor is pushing him to make a decision so we can move on from there, no matter what that decision is. I feel like a decision to end things would be premature - it's only been four months, and four not particularly good ones, either. To me, that's not enough time to effect significant change, and we haven't done much in MC other than talk about feelings and hear about how H. has things he wants but he doesn't want them from me anymore and doesn't think he should have to put in any effort at this point. So the MC pushing for that call to be made feels threatening, particularly when I get the impression that he's more interested in getting an answer and working with it than he is in more actively pushing to save the relationship.