For the most part, yes. While getting your legal and financial ducks in a row, in case things come to that.
Personally, I finally grew weary of my wife continuing to lie to me and to everyone else about her affair, and I called her on it. Texted her one day and told her I wanted to meet her in one hour, and when we met I brought a big manila envelope with me, with a bunch of papers inside (they were all blank). Brought her one particularly salacious snippet of a parking lot rendezvous between her and OM in her car, and played it for her. Told her I was tired of all the deceit, and it had to stop. That we raised our kids that "families always tell the truth," and I wasn't going to stop now, and if she didn't stop lying to our adult children and to her parents, I was going to show them everything I had.
Gave her exactly five minutes to decide.
She agreed to let me drive her to her parents house, where she told them the truth (she had been lying about ME through the whole thing, making me out to be some crazy person for claiming she was having an affair). Then she phoned both of our adult daughters (then 18 and 21) that night and told them the truth about OM.
It took another month or so for her affair to end, and our reconciliation to begin . . . and it was rough. Had our fits and starts. Took a good TWO YEARS of hard "piecing" work. But I was determined that while I couldn't stop her AFFAIR, I damned sure wasn't going to put up with her DECEIT -- not to the very people in this world that I loved and respected the most.
It worked for me, but it's not for everyone. And it's really not even DB. It's sort of the "after the after the LRT" in MWD's book I guess.
She can deny it all she wants, but she can't stop you from proceeding as it's the truth. YOU control that.
