-Send her an email with STD statistics, no other comments.
-Secrets kill marriages.
-You are being played.
- Your current behavior is not helping the children.
- "No contact" means "no contact". Working in close quarters with someone who's admitted being attracted to you, and vice-versa, is inappropriate in a HEALTHY marriage. It's absolutely DESTRUCTIVE in one that's on the rocks!
- How will you be able to counsel your daughters one day if they're having problems? To cut and run? To have an affair?
- You are placing your friend before your husband, and your friendship before your marriage.
- Forget ME for a moment; you are not going to like yourself someday if you keep going down this path.
- (S-then-14) and (S-then-11) need you more than ever.
IF SHE TRIES "R" TALK:
DON'T argue past points with her. Simply state the truth of today.
- She is having an affair.
- It is impossible to analyze issues with the marriage as along as she is having an affair.
- You can't analyze a relationship where one partner is making unilateral decisions to bring a third person into the relationship.
- Betrayal is an intensely painful action for one person to inflict on another.
These are to be "landed" no more than 1-2x per week. And only when in context. "You can't teach a wayward" when they are in their PEA-induced euphoria about their affair partner, but you CAN land little "truth darts" here and there.
ALL of this needs to be done while cleaning up your own side of the street. Work on those issues that YOU know are really things you need to work on -- those criticisms of her that "sting" (as opposed to any recent "re-writing of marital history")
