I'm not much of a daily life poster, although I can help you understand some of the dynamics playing out here...
Her anger, well, it is gonna be around for a while. So you better get used to how YOU wanna deal with it.
Most of the time, the WAW is looking for a reason to walk away from the LBS, most of them do not have a valid reason to, or valid in our eyes at least. So they manufacture reasons in their own heads, to justify their burning desire to get away from us as fast as they can.
You have given her an iron clad reason now. All you can do is own your actions, and accept that this is just the way it is for now.
The reason that you are seeing it so vividly, is that you hurt her deeply. She wasn't expecting you to be on the market so soon, and to find someone so soon. I mean come on, you are the asshat that she has a laundry list of complaints about...right ?
Nevertheless...you DID hurt her deeply...
And you really NEED to understand how that can affect a Woman. And how it affected her.
Secondly, this anger that you are seeing now, isn't completely about just this most recent event. This is YEARS of pent up anger that is coming out. Now you may view this as a bad thing, however, I see it as a good sign. Everything inside of her ( the rage) HAS to come out, before there is any chance of a new relationship.
Every time you F'ed up, and she say "it's fine"...????
Yea...that is the anger you are seeing now, because it really wasn't "fine" with her. For whatever reason, she either didn't want to cause a scene, or she was unwilling to talk about it with you....
The answer to THAT question, is something that only YOU can know....
This Woman knows you better than you know yourself right now, whether you like it or not. She knows EXACTLY what buttons to push on you, to make you act EXACTLY the way that she needs you to act, so that her decision to leave....is justified
Are you willing to still be that guy ???
So change it up a bit huh ???
Like Bug said earlier..
Validate what NEEDS to be validated, and DO NOT validate abusive comments....
"I will NOT allow myself to be spoken to, the way you are speaking to me "
And then walk away from it....
You have to be willing to stop playing the game, before the game can end...
And I would venture, that you are STILL trying to defend yourself against your actions over the years...
Stop it
You are never gonna talk your way, out of something that you acted your way into...
Lastly, one of my visuals that I speak of often...
Is that I view the anger of a WAS like I view the booster tanks on the side of the Space Shuttle...
It takes way more fuel to launch, than it does to cruise. So once the Shuttle is in orbit, the tanks are discarded.
It is much like the anger of the WAS. Once things become more normal for them, and the more that YOU can stop reacting to their verbal assault, the more that you will see their anger lesson...
And eventually, it will be discarded as well.
It's time to start acting differently, not for her, not for the Marriage...
