We both work and have shared bank acct and one shared Amex card. Never been an issue until now. We make an equal amount of money.
Another question.... I bet she comes home this weekend and asks for a separation. She won't admit to the A but will say she needs space and time to think. She'd likely will say that because I don't trust her proves that we need to separate. Should I agree to the separation? I assume yes.
Me: 40, W: 40 M: 15, T: 18 D - 10, S - 7 D announcement 6/7/2014 A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W) Still living together and sharing same bed
We both work and have shared bank acct and one shared Amex card. Never been an issue until now. We make an equal amount of money.
However she is now squandering marital (family) assets on her affair. Girls' weekend, cellphone used to conduct her affair, possibly gifts for OM or God-knows-what to wear on her "girls weekend" with him.
A family court judge is not going to look kindly on that, and it will be accounted for should you two pursue divorce or legal separation (does your state allow for formal LS?)
At a minimum, YOU need to be keeping an accounting of this, and you also need to lay a "I will not allow our family's assets to be spent on your affair" boundary. We can help you do that.
Another question.... I bet she comes home this weekend and asks for a separation. She won't admit to the A but will say she needs space and time to think. She'd likely will say that because I don't trust her proves that we need to separate. Should I agree to the separation? I assume yes.
As I stated in my previous post, I'm not sure if your state offers a legal (formal) separation or not, but speaking generally your reply is "I don't want a divorce, and haven't really thought about a separation, but if you want to leave I will not stop you. I'm certainly not leaving, and nor am I going to allow the kids to leave."
But this is where you need that legal advice we were discussing yesterday.
so I just met with a L. Couple of things that i learned.
There don't do legal S in Boston, but we can file certain petitions (effectively restraining orders) that force both parties to spend money only on normal day to day expenses.
She cannot take the kids to NYC no matter what. MA has a child removal law that effectively says the kids stay in the state where they have been residing for the past 6 months.
Me: 40, W: 40 M: 15, T: 18 D - 10, S - 7 D announcement 6/7/2014 A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W) Still living together and sharing same bed
so I just met with a L. Couple of things that i learned.
There don't do legal S in Boston, but we can file certain petitions (effectively restraining orders) that force both parties to spend money only on normal day to day expenses.
She cannot take the kids to NYC no matter what. MA has a child removal law that effectively says the kids stay in the state where they have been residing for the past 6 months.
Good work! Now don't you feel a little better at least?
