Wife STILL in MLC but has now left #1

[pbetra]

Just journalling a bit tonight.

For some reason I just can't get myself motivated.

I really need to get what I need to get done finished and get back to GALing ... But first I need to finish what I must get done and every time I start I get distracted and unmotivated.

I almost texted my W that I missed her, if you can believe THAT! (I didn't, not that stupid). First time that even crossed my mind! What is wrong with me! I do not have the luxury of getting all depressed and melancholy, dam it! I need to just wake my butt up and get going! I think I'm just not used to being so alone all the time. .... My W is nowhere near the end of her MLC journey, I'm still having to deal with the D, my D's are still not anywhere close to knowing what's in store for them come the end of summer, I have to deal with the IRS and I need to get moving on my job and make some more cash. That's just the things that are needed to be dealt with NOW, then there's the future once all that gets dealt with.

Yes, I've been getting things done, keeping moving forward, up until now that is. ... Chalk up today has an "off" day and start back tomorrow. Just kinda hating the way my W has screwed things up (yes, I know it wasn't her "choice", that it's the MLC and she probably feels more lost than me) and hating the world as it stands right now. Well, today has to be the last I let this happen!

Matt165,
We are expected to be grown ups & emotionally matured ALL the time, even during times of adversity. To "handle it" ... We're human - not robots, where we can input the ideal commands ... Just because we have fewer issues than the MLCer doesn't mean that we don't have the need to stop sometimes - 'feel our feelings'.

We all have off days, go easy on yourself - you're entitled to an off day occasionally. This is a lot of work for the LBS, & you have been it for awhile! Your brain will thank you for the honest expression & your overall health in the long term will also benefit. You also have the above, in bold on your mind. These are not pleasant or motivating - all with a wife who is stuck in a nasty condition, & you on the receiving end for a long time. Just thinking about would make me feel the same.

It's easy to feel alone, after all, this is a lonely experience for LBS who is immediatley isolated when MLC occurs. And the anger? Whoa! I experienced this recently & this is quite unlike my temperament. There is a reason for anger, we see that re: MLCer. We are made to understand - well I also understand that if I didn't create this hurtful event, I can be angry about it sometimes!


There's always tomorrow - even next week ... depending on the amount of brain dumping your brain needs & resting that your soul needs - as long as you pick up where you left off (as you already know). Bite sizes right Matt?

Have a wonderful day! p.
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ps: I am sorry that you are missing her given the reality of the sitch. Then again lonliness does that - we hold on to .. if you have alternatives GAL, 'GA P' >People in our life', the feeling would be weakened. I too am working on my lonliness, as I know no one in this new place & have no one to talk w /at home. It's a slow process - nothing yet but some e-contacts coming through ...