So another thing I'm learning is how important it is post here not just for feedback but for documentation and future reference. So here's the latest...
So today H emailed me about getting D's bike for bike day at preschool tomorrow. I decided to call him (this is a 180 I found effective when we first separated; pre A and during A I used to just text/email) and in a very upbeat way offered to get the bike for him and leave it in my car at work for him to retrieve since I was headed home for lunch anyway. He was warm during the convo. And I felt like I was conveying to him 'hey, I CAN be sane and table the OW crappola for a bit'.
So come about 5pm (when he was going to retrieve the bike from my car), I end up leaving work and going out with a friend (in her car since I had to leave mine for him to get into) and didn't bother to take my phone. So he texts to say he's on his way to my car, then texts to say 'thanks for leaving D's bike in your car'. Then texts to say S got written up for bad behavior at camp today. None of these I replied to bc I had gone out with my friend and didn't take my phone with me.
I finally reply about 2 and 1/2 hours after his last text. He immediately texts back to each of my texts and we're really bonding over the kids. I text him that S recently got into some issues with some neighbor kids (in addition to the issue today at camp) and that he can be too reactive and I've been working on helping him manage that. H replies 'He probably gets that from me'. I reply 'Actually, I was thinking he gets it from me.' We text a bit more about the kids. I end up telling him he's a good dad (I think words of affirmation is his LL). He tells me I'm a very good mom. I tell him we're lucky for having such good kids, all 4 of them (including his 2 older kids). He replies 'Indeed'. I end it on that.
I think it's all really positive and we are beginning reconnection just as we did before, over the thing that bonds us the most and distinguishes us from OW --- the kids. My challenge, as always, is to NOT read into it too much and just chill! I am ON HOLD until I meet with doc and the meds kick in!!! People, hold me to this!
Can someone come please move in and hold their hand over my mouth and restrain my fingers when I want to talk/text/email inappropriately (with is practically always)? I live in a very lovely location. Please & thank u. Love & thanks to you all, as always, for continuing to follow my story, guide and support me.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
