CSan - Filed, moving and life goes on....

[25yearsmlc]

I called my STBXH to meet up for breakfast


WHY? why?


which I shouldn't have done as I should just back off as he doesn't want a relationship and I need to respect his space.

I have literally lost count of how many times you have said this^^ exact sentence before. CS, you need to learn some restraint.

Seriously. How many times are you going to go down a "cheese less tunnel" before you change your behaviors? If the term "cheesless tunnel" is strange to you, read the DB or DR books again and more carefully.


He has not initiated contact since the MC and that should be an indication that it was too much for him especially with me crying during it. I need to let go

of course it is an "indication" that it's too much for him, especially added to the fact that HE SAYS it is. Plus you cannot handle contact with him in person anyhow.

Next time this issue comes up THINK IT OUT BEFORE you act.

What is the most likely result of you reaching out to him again?

His desire to reach out to you, via the MC, was possible a "cover his bases" thing and that's it.

I would have simply listened and then LISTENED some more and if pressed for an answer,

reply that you need time to process this new information.

That's it.

Do you have a good counselor? I think if you truly had a higher self esteem and believed in your heart that you are a good person and a lovable person,

then other people's opinions would not change that. Work on the self esteem b/c that's the main basic belief you must have, to rise above the smoke from others opinions.

Their data about you is not real. It has either never been true, or it's no longer true. So don't let it inside you.

If you feel that it IS true data, that you really are NOT a good person, then work on that.

Become the woman you were meant to become. (That requires professional help and there is no shame in that!)

If you feel you ARE a good person, then don't let false data inside. Let it roll off your back.

Make sense?