This Disney trip went really, really well. And to answer the previous questions she went mostly on her own dime - but since I already had the hotel there was no need to spring for another room. We had a lot of fun and it was a good time to just kind of relax and enjoy without getting very heavy about things. S loved the attention.....but hated Splash Mountain....that's a whole 'nother story.
These last few days we have had some honest, open, hard talks. It is the first time in a long time that we have been able to bring a lot of sensitive issues to the table and be "OK" with discussing them. We covered everything from parenting to our married sex life and the infertility process. Long overdue, but it is clear we have both come some distance in terms of communication. No one pointed fingers, no one blamed...we both just listened and tried to understand each other.
She made a remark (and this is typical) that she absolutely has seen change in me...in what I say, how I react, what I do - and so on. She just wonders how much of it is real as opposed to a script fed to me by a therapist or something. Without getting defensive (seriously!) I told her that where I am today is the result of three years worth of suffering, loss and reflection on my life. THAT is what brought about the change - and what I have learned from the folks here is that change like that tends to last. She understood and even said she had heard that before elsewhere.
We have been spending more time together as a family and periodically check in when we are apart....we've started working out together again as well. I remain guarded but still feel ok delicately moving forward. I have been through this once before and I know what not to do again....so I am not putting a lot of eggs in one basket and I am not pushing the pace or the discussion.
