Thanks for everything Starsky. The kids do know about the plan. It was just going out to dinner. I just struggle with that piece. How do be nice in front of her but not send the wrong message to her or the kids.

I hope your W is ok (you mentioned pre-op tests).

Me: 40, W: 40
M: 15, T: 18
D - 10, S - 7
D announcement 6/7/2014
A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W)
Still living together and sharing same bed