Here is another conundrum. How do I deal with this weekend when she is back? Do we do fun family things or should I refuse to do them? But I want to be with my kids as well. Do we just not talk to each other and not do anything together with the kids, who still don't know anything.
If the kids were already aware of the plans and looking forward to them, keep them. Be civil to your wife -- even courteous/friendly -- but DON'T act like her B.F.F.
If the kids were NOT already aware of the plans, I would cancel them, telling your wife "I don't think it's appropriate considering what's going on right now" or something similar.
We can talk more later about how to keep things together around the kids.
