My WAW always said "why do i have to be the martyr? When do I get to be happy and do something for myself?" ugh. IMHO if I had known she was always taking the bullet and sacrificing herself I would've made sure I changed everything cause of course she doesn't have to be a doormat. Learning this after the fact kills me I love her so....wish I had elephant ears to have heard this!
rayzzz, Your W and I could be twins. I'm sure she wasn't "always taking the bullet", but it sure does feel like it sometimes...
Originally Posted By: rayzzz
The fact you are working on this without walking away....you are yards ahead of me and my stonewalled WAW in our separation.
I don't know about that, feels like I'm frozen in place.
Quote:
....but if he's like the rest of us blockhead LBS..he wants to 180 that away...but IDK him...
He does. I just don't know that I have it in me to do this again. I don't even want to share trivial things with him, let alone things of more importance. I just don't trust him with my feelings. In the abstract it's all good, but in reality it just isn't working (yet? IDK...).
Originally Posted By: rayzzz
One bit of advice you may find helpful is what has been a plumbline that my therapist told me: > You are each on your own journey, and your relationship is , in a > sense, on its own journey as well. It will only be healthy if the both > of you maximize your personal wellness health, that is the foundation. > From there, you both make decisions about what the future will be. > Without that health, there is no decision to make.
Keep working on being healthy,finding the real you..I will do the same and we'll see where the M goes =D From my LBS perspective you are approaching this from a good place...excited to see what kind of fruit you bear in your transformation. hang in there
That is very helpful, thank you. Feeling a little frustrated today and that was good for me to read. I read your thread and am sorry you're having a difficult time with separation from your children (and they with you). That is the part that always gets me. I wish we could make their lives perfect and painfree...
Since getting DR I have been super busy and am just now starting chapter two. Anxious to get into the meat of it. :-)
