This may sound harsh but you were in control. Sure, you didn't control him, and you never will, but you controlled yourself and he responded positively. As things improved, you started to expect him to move toward you faster and when he didn't, you started to feel anxious. From this point, you started to try and control the situation and instead lost control of yourself and your emotions.
Please believe in yourself. Everyone here does. OW being in the picture makes things harder, not impossible. The key here is you mastering your emotions.
fwiw, mdu, this is precisely my take on this as well. You need to dig deep within yourself and stop the self-spiraling and negativity, as it is NOT going to help you here.
