You know what I really think? And this is because I've learned so much from these boards and MLC, that when he starts being a jerk, I can detach and really be objective!
I think my boyfriend really has nothing but self loathing! I swear to God that man is content to hurt himself, yet claiming the victim stance all along.
It's like I see him for everything he is, was and wants to be. But I see him having so many unresolved issues, that he's just not fully available to give me the kind of relationship I want and need. He's only partially available.
Hmmmm..... what to do. I don't hate this guy. I do love him. Perhaps our relationship will be one of taking breaks and reuniting as we both walk our paths we need to walk. And I think that's ok.
Yet at the same time I year for a person that wants to take care of me and has the means to do so! I year for a loving, responsible family man!
Perhaps this may be a relationship in which we truly will end up friends.
